Future Husband

Relationships

Dear future husband,

I want to say that I am so happy and blessed that you chose me to be your wife. I’ve dealt with a lot of heartbreaks in my life time and with that being said, I am trusting that you will take very good care of my fragile heart. I can’t promise you that every day will be full with rose petals, gum drops, sweet smells and mushy things of that nature because I am not perfect, far from it to be perfectly honest. I am sure I may get on your nerves with my insecurities and even my occasionally nagging. What I can promise you is, that I will do my absolute best to be the best wife possible. I will support your dreams and be your biggest fan. I will walk with you through the good and the bad times. I will be a listening ear whenever its needed. I will love you unconditionally and hold you down like no other. I will pray for you and our family. I will allow you, as my king, to take the lead and be the best man for me. I will trust you no matter the circumstances. I will be loyal and true. So future husband, I pray you are prepared for a lifetime of love, joy and compassion. I pray we will have an unbreakable bond. I can not wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I look forward to the times we will share. Sincerely,

your future wife xoxo.

Friends vs. Significant others

Relationships

Have you ever been in a situation where you spouse didn’t necessary like your friends or vice versa? What strain this can on a relationship, as well as a friendship. When I was in college, some of my close friends did not approve of the guy that I was with. It bothered me because I was deeply in love with this guy, but at the same time, I knew that they had my best interest and they just wanted me to be happy. They were aware of some of the struggles I had faced being in a relationship with him. However, whenever I brought him up in conversations, there were always side eyed looks, which made things pretty awkward. Has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this before? How did you over come it?

Secrets: Are they allowed?

Relationships

So your best friend has been dating this guy for about a year now. They seem like the perfect couple (on social media) but deep down inside, you know the truth. One day, you are out a restaurant after work, and you witness your bestie “boo” hugged up with some random chick. You can not believe your eyes! He noticed you as well, so leaves the restaurant in a hurry. What are you going to do? Keep this secret to yourself? or tell your home girl? I mean its only right, right? I have been in similar situations myself. When I was in high school, I had a close friend who boyfriend used to be abusive and controlling, as well as ┬ácheater. One day, at track practice, I witnessed him all up on this girl. So I told her what I saw, it didn’t go so

well. She flipped the script on me, told me that I was “jealous” of their relationship. Honestly, it was the worse experience EVER. Our friendship did not last. It was a shame because, in my mind, I thought I was doing the right thing. I mean if the shoe was on the other foot, I would want someone to give me a heads up, instead of being played, but everyone is different. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change what I did. I believe as a friend, secrets aren’t allowed.

Cheating: Is it ever possible to bounce back from it?

Relationships

In today’s society, it seems as if cheating is glorified, from movies, tv shows, music and social media. In my own opinion, this is generation where, relationships, and even friendships are taken lightly. No one has any loyalty to one another, feelings get hurt, and relationships are destroyed. In my own walk of life, I have experienced the hurt of being cheated on, even though I was loyal on my end. I tried my very best to overcome what was done to me, however, it was difficult for me my own to shut off my mind with the thoughts and images because whenever he wasn’t around me, I thought the worse of him. As a result, I ended the relationship. I couldn’t personally deal with the thoughts that ran through my mind on the daily because my trust was gone, and if there isn’t any trust, the relationship was dead. I can truly say that I tried my best to forgive and forget, the forget portion was the part that hunted me to this day. It easy to forgive, well atleast for me it is, but forgetting what someone has done is difficult because you never want to feel that pain again, so you create a wall that protects your feelings so you wont feel that hurt ever again. I believe it is possible to bounce back from cheating, if and only if, the two parties are willing and are

fully invested in doing so. What do I mean by fully invested, well this can look a couple of ways. One, cutting off the individual in which the affair occurred with. Two, counselling is a great option to help with the healing process. Three, forgiving your spouse and talking things out to see their point of view. Four, start off with a brand new clean slate, leaving the past in the past and lastly, if there is ever an issue with your spouse, go to them and express yourself. Communication is key to ANY relationship. Of course, there are many, many more options, these are just a few. Remember, relationships can be difficult, but you get whatever you put into it. If you put only 50% in the relationship, well you will only receive 50 % , but if you put your all in it, you will gain better results.

Communication is key…

Relationships

Nowadays, there are so many different ways to communicate with others, such as text messages, phone calls, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and the list goes on and on. In any functional relationship, communication is important, rather it is between friends, co-workers, lovers or family members. When there is a lack of communication, problems occur, feelings can get hurt, misunderstanding appear. I believe it is necessary for both the sender and the receiver to be clear so things wont get twisted. If there is a problem or an issue, you shouldn’t hold it in. It does more damaged to hold things in, than to release it. If you love someone, tell them. If you miss someone, tell them. Simple as pie. You will feel better in the end, if you decide to let things out. Life is too short, live life without any regrets. Express your thoughts and feelings, you never know what the outcome may be.

What about your friends?

Relationships

A person’s circle can tell you a lot about an individual. For example, if you are constantly around people who are unmotivated, nine times out of ten, you will be unmotivated as well. With that being said, what does your circle say about you? Do you have people in your corner rooting you on or individuals who are wishing the worse of you? Do you have a good friend that you can call on when you are down and out or are the people in your circle simply around when things are going well but when tough times occur, they are no where to be found. Be aware of the people who are in your circle. A real friend is there during the good, bad and the ugly. They keep it real with you and call you out when you are wrong. There isn’t room for jealousy and envy when someone is really for you. Check your circle out and be mindful of the people you allow in your life. If you are blessed with great people in your circle, hold on to them tightly.

Toxic Relationships: What are the signs?

Relationships

Growing up in a two parent home, I witnessed my father treat my mother like a queen. He was a family man, that enjoyed helping others around him. He went to work every single day, whether he was ill or in good health just to provide for his family. Whatever my mother wanted or desired, he made sure she received it. Truly an example of a man. When I started dating, I looked for the same qualities in the men that I decided to entertain. I wanted to make sure that if I gave a guy my attention, it was worth it. Needless to say, my own judgement wasn’t always accurate and I fell into unhealthy relationships because I thought “I was in love.” I am more mature now, and fully aware that “loving” someone doesn’t give a person the green light to take advantage or mistreat someone. I can recall times, where I allowed my significant other to call me out of my name, talk badly about my family, humiliate me in front of others, lie and cheat with multiple women, and endure domestic violence. I am here to say that I understand what it feels like to NOT love yourself, and allow others to walk all over you because at the moment it felt like the right thing to do. Don’t ignore the signs that are presented in front of you. Everyone isn’t as fortunate as I am, to walk away from a toxic relationship alive. It’s not worth it. Trust your gut feeling and put yourself first. You will be thankful for it. Here’s some signs that your relationship may be toxic.

 

1) Negative energy.

2) Jealousy.

3 )You can’t seem to ever do anything right.

4 )Name calling.

5) Put downs.

6) Domestic violence.

7) Always walking on eggshells.

8) Lack of appreciation.

9)Lying/ Cheating.

10) Feeling isolated from loved ones.

 

Remember, no one is worth your peace. I know it may be hard to walk away from a relationship due to fear of starting over or whatever the case may be, BUT you will thank yourself later. Love yourself first! Put a new peep in your step, and remember that you are great and it is someone out there for everyone. So don’t give up! You never know who you may encounter, so don’t settle for less

 

Men and Women: Is it possible to be friends with the opposite sex?

Relationships

I always wondered if it possible for men and women to be strictly friends, without any type of romantic encounters. It seems as if men and women are from two entirely planets.Which could actually be a good thing, because there will be a balance. With that being said, I feel like there is a strong possibility that men and women could definitely be friends, if there is a clear understanding of course. In my own walk of life, however, I never really had a successful relationship with the opposite sex without it becoming weird in some type of way. I can recall a time where I was under the impression that my co-worker wanted to be simply “friends” and hang out every now and than. In my eyes, this was perfectly fine. At the time, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, I wanted to enjoy the single life and meet and encounter different people from different walks of life. My co-worker, had other things in mind. I would confine in him about my previous failed relationships, and how I would meet new guys that were not worth my time. As it turned out, he used my past hurts as an approach tactic, comparing himself to the guys in my past. Epic fail I must say. I wasn’t into him at all. In fact, I looked at him as a brother figure. It ruined our relationship and made me skeptical of the opposite sex and their intentions. Tell me your opinion, can men and women truly be “friends” without it becoming sexual?